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double bonus friday hax chat q: she got to know new girl in the office by helping her plan a lot of wedding stuff. now she wants to be invited

Posted by moles (aka chris) Mar 18 '11, 12:48

Alexandria, VA
Hi Carolyn, I'm in a slightly awkward position with a new girl at work. She got engaged shortly before she came here, and sometimes when we have downtime she and I chat about her upcoming wedding. At this point, I have helped her choose vendors, looked at countless design photos, and even listened to gossip about the attendees as she worries about who will sit where. This may sound obnoxious, but it has actually helped us become quite close--to the point where, terrible as this sounds, I now feel like I deserve to be invited to the wedding. I am honestly shocked that she hasn't taken the initiative to ask me by now, since we talk about it multiple times per week. Is this a rare example of a time when it might be okay for me to try to ask for an invite?

Responses:

No. That rare texample is so rare it doesn't exist, that's how rare it is. -- nm - mara Mar 18, 12:52
Why would she even want to go? She wouldn't know anyone there, probably. That's just dumb. -- nm - Amy Mar 18, 12:51 15
- Because as I'm finding out the hard way, some women act crazy over other women's weddings. - Diva - Mind of Mush Mar 18, 12:55 14
  - i don't think i mentioned this... i threw a biggish party for dave's bday in december. all my friends have decided i should get married so they can - Andie Mar 18, 12:57 13
    - Whole truth? I find most weddings I attend to be a hassle. - Amy Mar 18, 13:03 11
      - i am actually pro-wedding. i tend to have a good time at them. but, maybe i'm rose-tinting it because i haven't been to one in a while. - Andie Mar 18, 13:05 9
        
        Yeah, the ratio of "Good Weddings:Bad Weddings" to me is pretty one-way to the positive. -- nm - Name Withheld By Request Mar 18, 13:09 8
        
        I've only been to one bad wedding. It was over 5 yrs ago and it was so bad it's still providing comic gold to this day. -- nm - Diva - Mind of Mush Mar 18, 13:11 7
        
        i guess my one stepsister's was sort of bad. the groom got hives the day before. it auguered poorly - moles Mar 18, 13:15 4
        
        :( - Diva - Mind of Mush Mar 18, 13:19 3
        
        yeesh. if you can't afford to throw the party you want, just make it small(er) but better. -- nm - Andie Mar 18, 13:21 1
        
        the bride and the groom were both delusional and sort of still are. - Diva - Mind of Mush Mar 18, 13:23
        
        ha! -- nm - moles Mar 18, 13:20
        
        *counts backwards* - Epiphany Mar 18, 13:14 1
        
        of course not! We had a ball at your wedding!! -- nm - Diva - Mind of Mush Mar 18, 13:17
      - ayup -- nm - moles Mar 18, 13:05
    - not surprising in the least. -- nm - Diva - Mind of Mush Mar 18, 13:01
you never ask. you can't ask. it's up to her and she has her reasons. - Andie Mar 18, 12:50 16
- I've always wondered this. Why is it so taboo to ask for a wedding invite, under any circumstances? -- nm - con_carne Mar 18, 13:06 4
  - It's not about you. (You being the person asking.) - Name Withheld By Request Mar 18, 13:11
  - (I'm guessing the expense has a lot to do with it, but there seems to me to be more to it...) -- nm - con_carne Mar 18, 13:10
  - it's presumptuous. -- nm - znufrii Mar 18, 13:10 1
    - and that holds for any social event, really. Not just weddings. -- nm - znufrii Mar 18, 13:11
- this. -- nm - loosilu Mar 18, 12:53
- there's a woman here at work that I'd love to ask but I'm in the same sitch as you described in the IM. - Diva Mar 18, 12:52 6
  - Booter's coming though, right? -- nm - moles Mar 18, 12:54 5
    - this is scary. -- nm - Mel Profit Mar 18, 13:03
    - Hells yeah. -- nm - Diva - Mind of Mush Mar 18, 12:56 3
      - what would happen if Dawson brought Chun as his plus one? -- nm - moles Mar 18, 12:56 2
        
        The hotel would lose it's liquor license and have to pay thru the nose for breaking the fire codes. -- nm - Diva - Mind of Mush Mar 18, 13:02 1
        
        on the plus side, they'd be out of booze and they wouldn't have to worry about the fire codes as the place would be burned to the ground. -- nm - Mel Profit Mar 18, 13:25
- Agreed. -- nm - pmb Mar 18, 12:52
- Then she should have never gotten a stranger involved so deep. -- nm - lileve Mar 18, 12:51 1
  - they aren't strangers, they are co-workers. and, who is to say that letter-writer didn't ask questions and encourage the topic? -- nm - Andie Mar 18, 12:54
No. -- nm - Diva Mar 18, 12:50
Crash it. -- nm - nubby Mar 18, 12:49
I did a wedding show invation and did not get invited. I was annoyed cause I did it for free. -- nm - lileve Mar 18, 12:49 2
- maybe they were pissed because you misspelled something. (I kid! I kd!) -- nm - amanda jones, transitarian Mar 18, 12:50 1
  - haha! -- nm - lileve Mar 18, 12:51
never. you can't ask. just stop being her friend if you're that damn petty. -- nm - amanda jones, transitarian Mar 18, 12:49

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double bonus friday hax chat q: she got to know new girl in the office by helping her plan a lot of wedding stuff. now she wants to be invited

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